I would like to share the story of a young man addicted to masturbation and the psychological effect the addiction was having on him. It is my strong belief that man has made life very difficult for himself by setting up unnatural norms of behavior. The primary function of any living organism is to procreate and multiply. When a plant is ready to multiply there are no social or economic factors stopping it from doing this. When an animal in the wild is ready to procreate there is nothing stopping it from doing so. All it has to do is find a suitable and willing mate. Of course unlike humans, an animal in the wild has to prove its physical superiority over others competing for the same mate. Humans however place societal rules based on mostly economic factors ahead of laws of nature. Is it sensible for holding back the primary urge and duty of any human being from being fulfilled? This brings in its wake unnatural behavior. Young men (and women) not being able to satisfy the urges, when the energy is at its peak, turn to porn and masturbation. There are no monkeys who enjoy seeing others mate. I don’t think a monkey jerks-off. Monkeys, unlike humans have ample opportunity to indulge in healthy sexual activity with a number of mates during their life. Such restraint brings in its wake many untold sorrows.
This is the story of a young man aged 29 and the advice he got. I think it is a story I should share as it brings out the inner struggles that many face, caught up in addictions of one kind or another. This young man was caught up in an addiction to masturbation but the story holds true for any kind of addiction. This is his story:
I am 29 years and am part of the Krishna Consciousness movement for over 10 years. I am able to increase my chanting to up to 16 rounds but cannot sustain it at that level. I interact with other devotees at times but not as often as I should. I attribute my unsocial behavior to my habit of masturbation. I got involved in the Krishna Consciousness movement for divine guidance. Some time back I gave up hope completely and stopped coming to the prayer meetings. Then I faced some issues in my life which I was unable to handle so I went back to the temple. This time around I tried to be even more sincere but have failed. This has not happened man times in the past 10 years. All through these years I have been watching porn and masturbating. I am unable to share this with anyone around me although I need help. Also I feel no one would understand. I feel very sad and hate myself. I know that the lord is with me and is guiding me but I keep failing. I am asking for your help, please guide me get out of this miserable habit which is ruining me physically, mentally and spiritually.
Here is the advice he got from someone more experienced:
I was in the same trap and have successfully kicked the habit and would like to help you. Let us take it one step at a time. We need to understand some basics before we can progress. Our actions are the outcome of our thinking process. Let us not focus on the action but the thought behind the action. Therefore the first step in controlling your action is to control your thought process. Secondly our mind produces thoughts randomly but we filter these thoughts through our intellect. We cannot stop the thoughts which have been part of us for so many years but we can start choosing them intelligently. So we need to make a conscious effort to pick the correct thoughts. Thirdly our thoughts are dependent on our senses (indriyan). Indriyan are described in Hindu literature as touch, smell, taste, sight and smell. The nature of the mind is to wonder. But the more successful have a control over this wandering nature of the mind. Rishis and the more enlightened souls also face this but they control it with their will and use their intellect to choose the right path. So we need to control what we see, touch and feel and what we do with every thought before translating it into action. Here are some suggestions for you to work on.
If you watch porn then install a filter and make a pact with yourself not to watch it any more. Change the route you take if you are used to buying X rated stuff from somewhere on your way. Try and stay away from everything that can excite such thoughts. Try not to watch movies with simple kissing scenes. Stay away from friends who like to discuss stuff that can excite you sexually. This is about taking care of what you see, hear and see. Now let us talk about developing a stronger intellect.
Read some scripture for at least 20 minutes every day and implement its lessons in your life. You do go to the temple and chant Hare Krishna for an hour every day. The question is what about the other 23 hours. Try and use the same chanting and recreate the temple in your mind. Every time you have the urge remind yourself that the pleasure is short lived and you will have to deal with a lot of sorrow. Involve yourself in physical activity. Do yoga, meditation or lay a sport. Remember god helps those… you cannot just keep chanting without taking ownership of your actions. Match your commitment with your karma. You can succeed only with determination and commitment. Remember you have won half the battle by acknowledging that you do have this addiction. Don’t give in and never think you can’t do it. You are strong and you will do it.
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